Excurse

Daisy-Brand New

I awoke Friday morning at 11:11 feeling more exhausted then when I finally passed out six hours prior. I'd dreamed about her four times which left me in a sad, nostalgic funk I was never able to completely shake. Memories of the dreams would intersect with those from the times we shared, yielding a surreal thought process, and it left me on the brink of tears I wouldn't allow to be released. Right now, 12 hours away she's working on reclaiming her identity and as for me, well...I'm fighting just to get through each passing day.

I'm running out of options and the hole just keeps growing deeper and deeper. My brain constantly shifts from focusing on financial woes, old wounds, my deteriorating mental state, but ultimately always leads back to her. Sometimes, I catch myself checking my email in hopes of finding one from her, but those days are long gone. All that remains is the here and now, which is something I no longer truly want.

Every conversation since moving back has substantiated things which have, up until now, only been theories. While I'd love to share all of this with you, I've also seen first hand how quickly these blogs can be misinterpreted and later used as ammunition against me.

My words are the only things I have left to trust and I don't think people are quite ready to hear what it is I have to say.