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Sunday, April 15, 2012

Always too brief.

"God, you're beautiful."  I tell her and her mouth cracks the tiniest hint of a smile.

"You're silly."  She responds in the manner which always lets me know she won't allow my words to sink in.

It's a never ending battle; me trying to build up her confidence while she continues to tear herself down.  I guess some old habits die harder than others.

"I talked to Steve a little about you today." She says in a desperate attempt to change the subject.

"What'd he say?"

"He asked me if you were really what I wanted.  He told me that once this divorce is final and we're together he was afraid you wouldn't be able to support me or our son.  That if your book doesn't take off, though he hopes it does, I'll be the breadwinner.  He wanted to make sure I was prepared for that."

"Well..." I hesitate because her husband's concerns mirror back some of the ones I've had myself.  "those are some valid points."  After another several beats.  "Does that bother you?"

"No."  She says without hesitation.  "Once he graduates he's going to be an electrical engineer and make a ridiculous amount of money.  I would have a nice house.  A nice car.  Nice things.  But there wouldn't be any emotion there.  We'd just sit across the room and stare at each other.  I want what you and I have.  I love you."

"I love you too, angel."

Then our lips meet and open; allowing us better access to the warmth within.  She then pulls away and tells me,

"And besides, your writing is going to take off.  It might take awhile but I know it will."

After that we spend the rest of our short time together making coffee, baking a frozen pizza, teasing each other in several ways, laughing and then cuddling up while we watch bits and pieces of Office Space.  Our time is always too brief and I savor every second because I'm never quite sure when I'll get to see her again.

"You're gorgeous."

"You're silly."

When the movie ends we share a few more passionate kisses before I walk her to her car.  We kiss softly and then passionately for another several minutes before I make my way back to the house.  Just as I reach the front porch I sprint back and dive through the open passenger window in order to get one last kiss.  I walk back when I hear her ask for one more and I oblige her for the last time.  She calls out "I love you!" and I watch her taillights fade into nothing.

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